The Twilight Series

I spend a lot of time browsing in the book section. I pick up books and then put them back down. I picked up Twilight and set it back down, a bunch of times. One day I didn't. I had heard a lot about the Twilight series and every time I read the back of the book I just couldn't see the point in reading it. It just sounded silly. It sounded like something totally aimed at a teenage girl (which there is nothing wrong with), but then I heard about all these women my age who read the books and were totally absorbed by them. I figured I was missing something, I put off reading Harry Potter for a long time because I thought it would be silly and I was wrong then, so maybe I was wrong this time. I wasn't. If there was ever a book that I wished could be banished from the earth, this is one of them.

I read the first, and forced my way through the rest because I felt like if didn't read the entire series then I really couldn't develop an informed opinion about the series. As I paged through the books, the feeling of disbelief grew and grew and grew. By the end, I wanted to throw the book across the room.

Bella, a teenage girl, moves to Forks, Washington and then falls in love with a vampire. Throughout the book, Bella talks about how she doesn't understand why Edward, the vampire, loves her, despite the fact that every. single. boy in school wants to go out with her. Her self-loathing is frequently evident in the book and although she appears to be perfectly normal and is supposedly very smart, she labels herself irredeemably flawed because she appears to be clumsy. Bella and Edward progress through the book trying to decide if they like each other and then decide that they are incredibly in love, but Edward must stay away from her to keep her safe. End of Book 1. The entire book is plagued with trite dialogue and horrible description. In fact, if I never read the world alabaster skin again, it would be too soon. The vampires are not scary. In fact they seem like pleasant people who simply like to eat freshly killed animals and happen to sparkle in the sunlight. They also skip school a lot when it's sunny, because I guess sparkling too often would become passe and might let people onto the fact that they're vampires.

Some spoilers, if you really care....
The rest of the books: Once again we are plagued with horrible dialogue, I don't think any of the character "said" anything, I think that "breathe" or "murmur" or "whisper" everything. Edward left and only shows up when Bella seems like she might kill herself due to her clumsiness. She spends the entire book curled up in despair because Edward has left. She can't imagine life going on without him. Her reason for living is gone, and I think this is what bothers me most about the entire series. I am tired of reading about girls who can't go on when a man leaves them. Come on, Bella. An equally cute werewolf named Jacob wants to take you out and doesn't talk down to you, but you are stuck on a guy who left you for your own good. It's a supernatural take on "it's not you, it's me." When Edward comes back, because Bella just can't live without him, Bella decides to not go to college and get married as soon as she graduated from high school. She quickly gets pregnant (I don't know how that happens, because Edward is dead..you know...no blood flow and all that) and has a baby (with a horrible, horrible name-Renesmee) who almost kills her (which allows Edward to finally make Bella a vampire) and then is totally perfect and matures super fast so we can hear all her thoughts on life. And it's kind of gross that Jacob, the werewolf, falls in love with a baby.

I get forbidden love, I really do. I read Romeo and Juliet. I get the bad boy thing, I read Wuthering Heights. I don't get Twilight, and I don't see how grown women are fawning over Edward who displays stalker like and control freak personality traits through the entire series. Don't bother, unless who want to torture yourself.